I lay her down against the cool cotton sheets, her fingers clutch gently at my side. I feel her nails, and feel her longing, the invisible pull from inside her. The need.
‘Not yet’, I whisper close to her ear.
She makes a sound of feigned disapproval and curls her head into her shoulder, her eyes close, body twisting lightly in shy reflex. I can see the ripple of energy flutter through her stomach and I smile to myself. I love this moment. This is where it all begins, where ordinary people, living ordinary lives, find something more powerful than they ever knew existed, and all along it was right there at their fingertips.
I kiss her neck just gently, to re-assure. I don’t want her to arouse, I need her calm for this, at least for now.
‘What are you going to do?’ she asks expectantly.
‘Just relax’, I say ‘ breathe… deeper down…that’s it’.
The candle splutters a bit on the mantle and I feel the cooling air of the fan on my back, it feels good in this night heat. I shut my eyes and sink deeper in, looking down into myself, feeling the glow of life, feeling for where I begin. My mind quiets, something in this energy does that, like maybe sex is meditation.
My hand comes up almost by itself, following something. I don’t even really know what it is. I get flashes of it sometimes, see a woman, her hair blonde and long, blue eyes sparkling, some thought tells me it is a mermaid but I know that isn’t right. She moves, she is energy, pure, divine. I don’t know what this is, but I hold silent and still as she comes into me, flows through me, and then it begins. I feel it like heat, like love, like a beautiful truth. I welcome her and my hand moves over the naked body of this girl, not touching, just moving unseen warmth over her, through her, moving it round, letting it rise of itself. Patient. I follow.
A shudder rises up my back from within. I open my eyes, a flush is on her chest and the cheeks of her face, her breathing is getting faster, getting deeper.
‘That’s it’, I say ‘Let it go, breathe, let the sound out’
Her hips move a little, her breath in gasps. The sound finally breaks in her throat as she starts to give in. This isn’t me, this is her, her gift, her connection back to what she was a part of all along but never knew. Putting it all back into place, this is the return.
Her sighs grow louder and she starts to stretch out and move rolling in slow, powerful spasms. You can see it pulsing through her like waves. I sit back and watch, there is nothing more to do other than just be here, be witness to a girl relinquishing to the goddess, and becoming one.
And I know this is as it should be, as it once was, before they shut us all down, stole our connection, before they inflicted emotional wounds on us all in the war to take control, to turn this planet into a prison, to make us desperate, lost and insane. There were temples for this once, for men and for women. To heal them, to bring them back to themselves when they were lost, disconnected from the source of things. But they destroyed them, built over their ground and replaced them with lies, deceipt and a powerful guilt, and with that they murdered the spirit of women and men, for no other reason than to enslave them. Until what we really are, what power we have, is forgotten.
‘This is the truth,' I tell her, 'this is freedom, babe’
She opens her eyes just a little, a shimmer of sweat on her body making it glow in the dim light. I see the warmth of life in there, see that gorgeous glitter in the sheen of eyes truly alive. She knows. She knew all along.
‘How could I have forgotten this?’ she pants between breathes.
‘Sssssh’ I say and softly close her eyes again. ‘It’s just time for you to claim it back’