I finished my first book.

I say book, only because I dont know what else to call it, it isnt going to be published and it doesnt have existence in the world. It's just a 120 pages in a word document on a computer.

It's the raw dealio about 5 years that had a big effect on me. shaped me. set me on the road to who I am today. whatever the hell that is.

I never finished anything before quite so perfectly. In fact I dont think I ever finished anything before at all.

There was something about it's completion felt incredibly natural. It just flowed to a stop.

I started it about 8 months ago, found all the bits I needed to include, wrote it up, went through it correcting the mistakes, changed a couple of bits that seemed wrong and then there it was

done

I looked at it in a state of shock and pride this last weekend.

It was actually finished. There was nothing more to do or add or change at all.
It was perfect.

I have been making music for 25 years and I never felt a song complete. never. not like that. It was weird to me, new.

I dont know what this means

I called the book - 'Fear, Discipline, Latin and Lash' and after some deliberation sent it to an ex-girlfriend who always said she wanted to understand why I was the way I was.

I said I hoped it helped

and promised not to include her real name in the next one.