Wednesday, 6 May 2009

times up and times down
times around and around and around

on a bed of nails she makes me wait
and I wait, with or without you

I am throwing myself into it all again
I dont know reasons why not
other than it hurts
but then what is a little hurt
makes you know you are alive right.

and you give yourself away

as you do, because it is all you know
you can fight it, fight yourself
but where does that leave you except
nowhere anywhere anyway

used to be easier, I am sure it did
but having said that this game hasnt yet gotten too hard
I just dont seem so interested to play is all
the numbers go by me
on the bus, on the train, in the bar, in the street
and I see the eyes and maybe catch a smile
and its just numbers
and I am just not that interested anymore
in the shallow connection

its got to be able to hurt
else what am I doing it for
it's got to be able to pull the love out of me
kicking and screaming, and passion and
playing with my delirium
my sanctuary
my lover
the bed in the night and the dreams and the illusions
that feel so real
like we are high, on drugs
and some ways wish we were dying
just so it could stay like this forever
my sweetheart

it was just before dawn, one miserably morning in black 44
when the forward commander was told to sit tight
when he asked that his men be withdrawn
and the generals gave thanks as the other ranks held back the enemy tanks for a while
and the anzio brdigehead was held for the price
of a few hundred ordnary lives

and as ever I wonder in the spaces between acting
just what it's all about
and the question seems foolish in it's own way
feel nostalgic for a moment
think about friends I'll never see again
and all those good good times
to be missed
and savoured

and some kind of life
is always going on
to swim away in
if I desired
into the chaos
and the lovely confusion it brings
all these people I know
and grow
towards the knowing
of what this moment really be
and quietly now in this little place
I sit in love
and enjoy the smile
as it beams out from somewhere deep within

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